Kindness

I've just spent the last hour clicking on all the links to my friend's blogs to see if they're still writing their blogs, and to my surprise they've pretty much all stopped blogging sometime between 2007-2011 which is sad but also makes me feel relieved that I'm not the only one who gave up on blogging around that time.  I am still in contact with all those friends on Facebook, so maybe like me, they no longer felt the need to blog since joining Facebook. But whatever the reason for each one was, it is what it is.  I'm glad to be back and I hope some more will return.  It took me an hour because some had posted back in 2011 and I found myself reading what they wrote and enjoying reading their posts.

But anyway, none of that, is what I wanted to write about today.  Yesterday I read an article that basically said that the two most important traits to have in a successful and happy marriage are 'kindness' and 'generosity'.  I found it very interesting and I have a feeling that, it is, very true.

Personally, I've been married almost 4 years now and I know that marriage is hard work, it is also the vehicle that God uses to show you really just how selfish you are.  So I am aware that kindness and generosity are not traits that come naturally to me. Pre-marriage I thought I was a kind and generous person, but now I know that I'm not.

However, I would like to be, not just so that my marriage would be more successful and happy, but also because why wouldn't anyone want to be more kind and generous?  Certainly this world needs more kind and generous people.  This morning, like most mornings recently, I spent time telling my kids, mainly my toddler to be 'nice' to her sibling who is a crawling infant, so still a baby.  It is very hard for my eldest to share the toys that until recently belonged to just her.  But it upsets me when she is selfish or mean to her sibling.  I want her to be kind and generous.  But if I'm not modeling that to her, how can I expect her to be nice, just because I ask her to be? Yes, I need to change, and I pray that God will help me, because I clearly need help in that department.  I mean, it is easy to be kind and generous to your friends, but to be kind to your husband and kids, who sometimes you feel don't give you a break, then it's a lot harder, but it is also, a truer reflection of just how kind and generous you really are.

I wish I had some answers to share about how to achieve this, but I don't.  All I can do is pray, and try to remind myself moment by moment, to choose to be/do the kind/generous thing.  It's been two hours since my kids bedtime and I'm sitting here trying to write, as it's the first chance I've had all day to do this.  My husband is half napping on the couch and half watching tv.  He started work early today so he is beyond tired.  My toddler is now finally asleep but for a couple of hours since going to bed has called out for me several times. The old me would go to her, feeling obligated and resentful that I have to give up my time, and would've been wishing that my husband would get up and go to her.  Today, I have a slight change of attitude, yes, I'm still wishing I could have a cup of tea made for me and be undisturbed while writing, but I also know that my husband is tired and she is still so young, and so yes, even though I don't want to get up, the kind and generous thing, is to let my husband rest and to go to my toddler and be 'nice' to her myself like I asked her to be just this morning.

And so with that, it is time for me to now go and get my husband some chips (which he's asked me for 3 times now as he's too tired to get up and get some himself), and maybe finally make myself that cup of tea :)